How I freed myself from the illusion of control and started living fully.
Later, in the evening, memories started to come back to me.
I remembered where and how I started smoking, I recalled my feelings (only now I see them more deeply), I saw a broken girl running away from home, where everything is complicated, where there is no safety, and where nothing depends on her.
And this girl buys herself cigarettes and feels as if something in her life is now under control (like, if she wants to, she goes out to smoke).
It’s that feeling, you know, as if I’m making my life somehow more predictable (read "safe").
I remembered where and how I started smoking, I recalled my feelings (only now I see them more deeply), I saw a broken girl running away from home, where everything is complicated, where there is no safety, and where nothing depends on her.
And this girl buys herself cigarettes and feels as if something in her life is now under control (like, if she wants to, she goes out to smoke).
It’s that feeling, you know, as if I’m making my life somehow more predictable (read "safe").
Later, in the evening, memories started to come back to me.
I remembered where and how I started smoking, I recalled my feelings (only now I see them more deeply), I saw a broken girl running away from home, where everything is complicated, where there is no safety, and where nothing depends on her.
I remembered where and how I started smoking, I recalled my feelings (only now I see them more deeply), I saw a broken girl running away from home, where everything is complicated, where there is no safety, and where nothing depends on her.